Sleep Regression Is Normal — and How I Finally Overcame It

One of the hardest things during the baby phase is the sleepless nights.
If you’re lucky, this phase might end around 4 or 5 months. If you’re really lucky, it might end around 3 months or even earlier (and if that’s you, I’m both happy for you… and also slightly jealous).

But before you get too excited, just when you think, Finally! My sleep deprivation is over! There’s something called sleep regression.

The 4-month sleep regression.
The 6-month.
The 8-month.
The 12-month.
And sometimes, random “bonus regressions” nobody warns you about.

Now, not all babies go through every regression. And even if they do, the intensity varies.
But me?
I was super lucky (insert sarcasm)…

My first baby hit EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

I struggled so much. I cried so much. I doubted myself constantly. But now she’s 5, sleeps beautifully, and we are long past that season.

Along the way, I met other moms who also struggled at various levels. I asked what helped them. I reflected on what (finally) worked for us. And after combining all of our stories, I landed on one conclusion.

There is one way, probably the most effective way, to get through sleep regressions.

And you might hate me for saying it.

But here it is:
You have to let your baby cry.

Let me explain…

What Are Other Ways to Help Your Baby Fall Back Asleep?

Before we get to the crying part, let’s talk about what many recommendations I found online first. These are the “gentle,” “no tears,” “magic solution” suggestions you’ll see everywhere:

1. Adjust wake windows

If the baby is overtired or not tired, sleep falls apart. So some moms swear by tracking wake windows by the minute.

2. Offer a dream feed

Feeding baby around 10–11 p.m. so they (hopefully) sleep longer. This might not work when your baby is 12 months or even older.

3. Add more daytime naps (or remove one)

Because why not try the opposite of what you were just doing? But be careful! If your baby is overtired, this might backfire.

4. Create a calming bedtime routine

Warm bath, massage, story, soft music, dim lights—basically a spa night for baby. But it didn’t work for us.

5. Make sure the room is cool, dark, and quiet

A blackout curtain + white noise duo is practically a religion in baby sleep culture. Who doesn’t do that?

6. Check for teething, illness, or hunger

The classic “something must be wrong” stage of troubleshooting.

7. Soothe without picking up

Patting, shushing, rubbing their back—think: ninja-level parenting. This may work with some babies. But for ours.

8. Increase daytime calories

Some blogs say baby wakes more at night if they didn’t get enough calories during the day.

All good ideas. All worth trying.

But for many moms, including me, none of these things fixed the regression.

What I Tried (Before I Finally Let Her Cry)

It is SO hard to let your baby cry. Especially as a new parent. Every instinct in your body screams:

“Pick her up!”
“She needs you!”
“She’s crying — DO SOMETHING!”

So naturally, that’s exactly what we did.

Baby wakes up → I pick her up → rock her for 20 minutes → she falls into deep sleep → I put her down gently → BOOM. She wakes instantly and screams again.

It was like magic.
Dark magic.

We would rinse and repeat. Over and over again.

My longest night?
Four straight hours stuck in her room!
I was sobbing while she was sobbing. We were both exhausted and miserable.

I tried it all:

• rocking
• singing
• tiptoeing
• talking
• waiting by the door
• sneaking out like a ninja

Nothing worked…
Except for the one thing I dreaded.

When We Let Our Baby Cry

As our very last straw, we tried the “cry it out” method. And before you panic, let me explain how we did it.

When she was younger, we didn’t let her cry endlessly. We did intervals:

• Let her cry for 15 minutes
• Go in to comfort (pat her back or pick up briefly)
• Put her down
• Leave
• Let her cry again
• Check again in 15 minutes
• Repeat

The first night?
It took several rounds.

The second night?
Much fewer.

By the third or fourth night?

She stopped waking altogether.
She understood that rocking was not an option. We weren’t going to hold her to sleep. She needed to settle in the crib.

The result shocked us. She adapted unbelievably quickly.

When She Got Older — The Crying Continued (In New Ways)

Once she became a toddler, we faced new sleep battles.

Instead of waking in the middle of the night, she fought bedtime. HARD.
She would cry for an hour if no one went in.

We fought this for months.

Until finally, we let her cry…
And she cried so hard she vomited.

It was heartbreaking.
But after that night?

She never fought bedtime again.

It was like a switch flipped in her little brain: “Okay, bedtime means bedtime.”

My Nephew’s Story

My sister’s little boy was always a great sleeper… until he turned 2. Suddenly:

Bedtime battle.
Endless stalling.
Hours stuck in his room.

They hired a baby sleep coach.
Want to guess the big secret?

Let him cry.

They tried it. It was brutal.
My sister was sobbing outside his door, and her husband had to physically stop her from going in.

But after only a few nights?
Massive improvement.
Within a week?
Bedtime battles were gone.

You’re Not Alone — and There Is Hope

I’ve met so many moms over the years who had similar sleep struggles. And something interesting kept coming up in our conversations:

If you have more than one child, there’s a good chance at least one of them will hit a major sleep setback. Maybe during the baby phase. Maybe as a toddler. Maybe both. But almost every mom I talked to said the same thing:

The professionals told them to let the baby cry. And it worked.

Is it easy?
No. Not even close.

It’s gut-wrenching at first. You question yourself. You want to run into the room every second. You want to scoop them up and make it all stop. And honestly? I think this is where dads shine. They’re often emotionally steadier in these moments and can help us not give up too soon.

But here’s the good news:

You won’t have to endure this for long.
Most of the time, you’ll see results within a few nights.
Three or four nights of hard work is so much better than suffering for weeks on end.

And no—this does not hurt your baby.
You’re not abandoning them.
You’re teaching them a lifelong skill:
This is sleep time. This is your bed. You are safe. You can do this.

If you’re in this stage right now, I know how overwhelming it feels. I’ve been there. I’ve cried those tears. I’ve paced those halls. I’ve doubted myself, too. But I’m praying that you get through this soon. That your home finds rest again. And that this little piece of my story helps you feel less alone, more empowered, and more hopeful.